Entry #295
February 22, 2013
Hello Everyone, it’s me, Wimsey, coming to you from the
Upper west Side of Manhattan where we have spent the week in the deep freeze
which is not nearly as entertaining as spending a week in the deep freezer
where there are at least tasty frozen meats to excavate.
But the cold did mean that my human Maria and her friend
Elizabeth’s projected President’s Day Bath Fest was postponed. Sadly though, the stench was so great that
Elizabeth bravely threw me into the tub herself on Tuesday after a warm, and spectacularly
muddy afternoon walk. Apparently I was
getting embarrassing to be around. Or make that more embarrassing to be around.
My humans are well accustomed to people
seeing me be obnoxious and hearing me being obnoxious but when they can smell
me being obnoxious (and not from the usual gastric eruptions either) it is
apparently one obnoxity too many. I
guess apologizing to people for my stink in addition to apologizing to them for
my drool and my baying is apologetic overload. 
But fortunately (or not depending on one’s point of view) I
am a strong smelling Hound and my pungent aroma returns fairly quickly. Elizabeth was walking through her building’s
lobby when the doorman pointed out that she was being seriously eyeballed by a
Rhodesian Ridgeback who was waiting for the elevator, “Look how he’s staring at
you! He can smell you!” the guy exclaimed.
It’s comments like these that have resulted in my next bath already
being placed on my humans’ social calendar.
And speaking of Hounds (and when are we not) the following
is a Shameless Plug for our friend Tom Shreck’s mystery novel, “On the Ropes”
whose Kindle version is on sale for $0.99 (sadly I can’t shred the Kindle
version like I tried to do with to the original). The hero’s bravery is only exceeded by that
of Tom himself who lives with both basset hounds and a bloodhound. (And without
giving anything away, I would suggest that you keep your eye on the hero’s
Basset Hound, Al. Some of the characters in the book wish they had too). The book is the first of a series and if any
of you entertainment people are reading this out there I think it would make a
terrific movie or basis for a TV show. (And
my humans and I want to watch the casting call for Al the basset).
Anyway, movies are on my mind because Sunday is Oscar night
and my humans will be all dolled up in Couture by Wimsey for our appearance on
the Red Couch. (Honestly, Maria does really have a red couch—you just can’t see
the color because it is always covered in drool and hair covered sheets; what
she doesn’t know is that underneath the hair and drool covered sheets there is
a hair and drool covered couch). I have
carefully viewed the nominated Best Pictures and as usual I feel that they
could be substantially improved:
Wimsey’s Oscar
Nominated Films
Amour: A
controversial film about euthanasia wherein a lively Hound is threatened daily
with the consequences of his activities.
Argo: An exciting tale of CIA daring do: A CIA agent
is tasked with smuggling 6 escaped American hostages out of the Canadian
Embassy in Tehran and decides to pretend that they are part of a film crew. Ignoring the fact that the plan sounds a lot
like a TV episode of Mission Impossible,
the exfiltration expert goes ahead. Just
to hedge their bets his bosses send in a team of Hounds to re-shred the
pictures of embassy staff members that are being reassembled by the
Iranians. The Axis of Evil meets the
Axis of Evil (Hound version). Thanks to the heroic efforts of the Hounds, the
plan succeeds and the exfiltration expert moves on to study the plots of James
Bond movies.
Beasts of the
Southern Wild: Rather than a bizarre fantasy of ecology run amuck this is
an unfortunately not so bizarre non-fantasy about a pack of Southern Hounds
running amuck. Or just being Hounds.
Lincoln: War! Partisan politics! Ethical Dilemmas!
Complex presidential personal relationships! Sorry, that’s today’s NY Times. Lincoln is a fine, historical film about one of
America’s greatest presidents.
Silver Linings
Playbook: A Hound’s human keeps his
sanity by repeating such phrases as “I hated that couch anyway,” “Red meat is unhealthy,” “That dinner had too
many calories,” ‘Pre-masticated food is easier to digest” “It will come out in
the wash,” The walls needed repainting anyway,”
“My insurance covers visits to the Emergency Room,” “ I needed new
shoes,” “Long walks in the icy cold are refreshing,” “Attachment to material
possessions is unspiritual,” “I can change channels without the remote.” “I can
read the newspapers online.” ‘I’m starting to like that smell,” “I look good in
colors that are the same as my Hound’s hair” “It’s good to share,” “Sleeping on
the floor is good for your back, ”The vet is a nice man, I like helping him do so
well,” etc.….
Also, there were several nominees that I dealt with in my
Christmas movie post, so here they are again in case you missed the:
Life of Pie: A
very short film about a very large Hound and a very unattended dessert left on
the counter to cool.
Les Misérables: The human version: a film about people
with Hounds; the Hound version: a film about people without Hounds.
Zero Dark Thirty:
The bank balance, the financial outlook and the number of times per minute that
a Navy SEAL with a Hound tells the dog to get his nose off the counter. Also Bin Laden gets shot.
Django Uncrated:
When his humans forget to put their Hound Django in his crate they return home
to find that their house now has an open floor plan, new ventilation to the
outdoors and very little else.
And the envelope goes to…. no one if a Hound was in
proximity of the envelope.
Also this week I decided to pay a Sunday visit to a local
farmer’s market on Columbus Avenue and this stand caught my eye. Unfortunately
the sign was somewhat misleading, as there were no actual ducks available for
me to get to know better. But it turns
out that this nice lady has a line of freeze dried duck hearts for dogs of
which I was able to partake. My humans have promised to buy me a bag next week
but I also have my eye on some tasty looking sausages as well. 
And now in honor of the Oscars a little star photo montage:
this week you may have noticed that sometimes there are not a lot of photographs. This frequently occurs because Elizabeth (my
personal photographer) runs out of time and patience. For every photograph you see there are many
more like this:
 |
| I see you have the camera out again. However there seems to be something very interesting off to the left over there. |
 |
| Or perhaps it was off to the right. |
 |
| Did I hear the zipper on the treat pouch? |
 |
| Brandishing turkey will earn you a lovely shot of my tongue. |
 |
| And this is the picture that will ultimately appear. |
Usually I can get her to give up and put the camera away
whereupon I look at her with a variety of appealing expressions that she will
never be able to capture.
Now as many of you know I am a great art lover and am also the
curator of The Wimsey Institute of Houndish Art (www.wimseyhoundart.blogspot.com).
And in honor of Anthony Van Dyke’s birthday I have reproduced a painting from
the Institute’s collection along with my curatorial comments:
Charles
I At the Hunt (Anthony Van Dyck,
1635 Musee
du Louvre Anthony Van Dyck the great Flemish painter became court
painter to Charles I and painted forty portraits of him. Now although this is a
very imposing painting it is not an official royal portrait. In it Van Dyck
depicts the easy elegance of a gracious gentleman at the hunt. The genius of
Van Dyck as a portraitist is that in spite of the casual pose of the sovereign
the painter manages to portray him as commanding and regal nonetheless. From
his shimmering doublet to his elegant boots and haughty expression, he is
clearly the man in charge. But however beautiful, this painting has always
seemed to me to be missing something. Shouldn’t the haughty and commanding
Charles I be accompanied on the hunt by an equally haughty and commanding
Hound? See how much the addition of a magnificent Hound adds to the meaning and
beauty of the painting! Both gaze majestically out at their realm secure in the
knowledge that their every wish is a their subject’s command—such a sense of
ease, elegance and entitlement in both man and Hound. Charles I and Wimsey at
the Hunt.
Well I think I will leave it there for this week. Before I leave, however, a special shout out
to California Bloodhound Credo for his spectacular initiative in opening a kitchen
baby gate to help himself to his humans’ dinner. And also for his magnificent
sang froid when confronted by his human with a chicken breast in his mouth for
looking her straight in the eye and swallowing it. Bravo.
Until next time,
Wimsey, ready for his close up (not) 
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