Friday, November 8, 2013

Wimsey's Blog: Diary of a Manhattan Bloodhound #322


Entry #322
November 8, 2013

Hello Everyone, Wimsey here, coming to you from Manhattan’s Upper West Side, otherwise known as the Capital of Autumn. True New Yorkers believe that New York is the Capital of Everything so why not nature’s most colorful season?  Autumn is one of my favorite seasons owing to all the scent that collects on the fallen leaves and to the crisp sound that they make when I pee and poop on them. Also, I enjoy watching my human Maria and her friend Elizabeth excavating leaf piles to collect my copious spoor whilst I kick leaves in their faces.
But the city has been a busy place—we had Halloween and a Marathon both of which meant extra people on the street for me to investigate. I am profoundly grateful that I am not one of those timid Hounds who become alarmed at the sight of people wearing funny clothes or orange Marathon capes.  Perhaps this has something to do with my humans’ not dissimilar wardrobe choices (if the pointy hat fits…). 

And last week I had another one of my Adventures in Veterinary Medicine. This one involved a screening ultrasound--a procedure I highly recommend, by the way, as it involves a warm gel massage of one’s belly and is so relaxing that I have been known to fall asleep during them.  This time the test uncovered a small abscess on my prostate which had to be drained via a needle and which entailed receiving a modicum of IV Valium (which I also highly recommend).

So last Friday I spent the afternoon hanging out with the vet staff at Blue Pearl (our 24/7 veterinary specialist hospital which happens to be only a mile away).  I say hanging out because this was literally the case; one of the great benefits of being a Hound of majestic proportions is that there is a dearth of unpleasant kennels and cages into which one can be crammed. So I hung out with the staff in the treatment area until my humans came to collect me and to fork over the customary wad of cash on my behalf. 

But fortunately (for me), being a Hound who is semi-high on some excellent drugs did little to impair the fact that I am still a Hound. So although my humans proposed walking a short, slow mile home I proposed playing one of my favorite games:  “I don’t want to go that way, I want to go this way.”  And one lengthy expedition to the Far West Side later we arrived home where I was fed scrambled eggs and turkey. Maria also bought me a poached salmon and Elizabeth cooked me some delightful chicken breasts and baked many yams so by Sunday I was once again raring to go. And if my humans were ever inclined to say “no” to me they become considerably less so after one of my veterinary exploits. One of the great talents of The Hound is the extraction of maximum benefit from any situation.  Accordingly, this week saw several visits to pet shops, the acquisition of a stuffed penguin, a large bully stick and of course hours of unfettered park perambulation.

Here are some pictures from my week:
This is me at the base of a statue of King Jagiello of Poland.  Many people like to take pictures of this statue and I like to stand in front of it and refuse to move so their pictures also include King Wimsey of Central Park.

Here I am doing what I do best—climbing up on a park bench.  This has a number of benefits: 1) a Hound on a bench is not a Hound heading home 2) it encourages my humans to sit down so I can sit on them 3) the air currents are better up there and 4) to get me off the bench you have to feed me turkey. And of course it is easier for passersby to scratch me.

Now it might look like I am standing around but this could not be further from the truth. I am actively engaged in demanding a bribe of turkey in exchange for heading in the direction that my human(s) want to go.

Here I am either admiring the autumnal foliage or refusing (again) to look at the camera. Your choice.

This is me baying at the head of the 77th Street pedicab crew. He was trying to eat lunch.

This is me after visiting the pedicabs (you can see them in the background). I wanted to return to visiting the pedicabs on 77th Street but Elizabeth wanted to walk somewhere that didn’t involve me baying at people.  There was a wad of turkey forthcoming.

Well we did continue our walk but unfortunately this involved visiting all the food trucks along Central Park West and trying to cadge food from the people eating the food from the food trucks. Here I am in front on the Museum of Natural History with the statue of a headless Teddy Roosevelt in the background.  My customary activities here include trying to drag Elizabeth up the steps and into the museum where I am not allowed and poking unsuspecting tourists in the derriere.

This is me in front of the Italian pastry stand encouraging Elizabeth to buy me a pastry by refusing to move until she does.

I am now towing over to the Ballpark beer garden where I hope to obtain a tasty bratwurst.  Either my own or someone else’s.

What a lovely autumnal scene! Especially as it is in a section of the park that Elizabeth had no intention of visiting.

Another turkey extorting vignette. These tend to involve strings of drool that will end up in places that no one wants strings of drool to be.

My Houndy Sense detects the presence of a Park Exit and you can tell from my firm expression that we will not be taking that road.

I will leave you with this beautiful scene down by The Lake.  The beauty of the trees makes up for the fact that I appear to have slobber all over my face.  I don’t know how that happened---I usually have better aim.

So that is what I have been up to.  Unfortunately some of my more entertaining antics cannot be captured for posterity as they involve two hands (or four) on the leash. And all that towing around is a perfect prelude to a hearty meal of chicken and yams with a side of antibiotic turkey rolls and a long, loud and smelly snooze in some fabulously inconvenient spot.

Until next time,

Wimsey, wither I go’est thou go’est too

1 comment:

Bentley said...

Hope you are feeling all better - how nice that the vet staff allows you to just hang out with them instead of in a kennel!