Friday, October 22, 2010

Wimsey's Blog:Diary of a Manhattan Bloodhound #187

Entry #187
October 22, 2010

Hello Everyone, Wimsey here--at last--coming to you once again from the autumnal precincts of Manhattan's Upper West Side where there is a nip in the air (better than one in the tush!) and the wafting tang of a seriously bored Hound on the ground. So why am I bored you ask? Well, owing to a touch of lameness in a rear leg my human Maria has exiled me to the apartment of her friend Elizabeth in order to deny me the joys of zooming up and down her five flights of stairs. And to make matters worse, I am on "restricted exercise" which in my case means my humans struggle to keep each of my walks under an hour and I struggle to make sure they go as far over an hour as possible. An hour walk is a travesty and a gross violation of The Hound Bill of Rights, Article Two of which reads "Humans shall make no plans which abridge or interfere with a Hound's right to walk until such time as he is no longer in the mood to walk." And of course I am never in a mood not to walk. (Article One by the way reads "Humans are prohibited from any activity that thwarts, impedes, prevents, retards, hinders, restricts, delays or in any way interferes with a course of action that a Hound has determined is essential for his life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, without exceptions even for the stealing of Sunday roasts, Fendi purses, or used feminine hygiene products).

But I digress. So at Elizabeth's my range has been restricted to Riverside Park and its environs all of which has become deadly dull--I mean all the trees, bushes, waste bins, piles of leaves and bench legs already smell like me and Elizabeth greatly fears I will soon have recourse to people's legs. Accordingly we have been exploring the new southern part of the park created as part of Donald Trump's row of pricey apartment buildings lining the Hudson, leading me to discover that whatever else The Donald's faults (unusual hair, a big ego, a fixation with beauty pageants,love of large signs in gold with his name on them, etc) his buildings make for some excellent marking opportunities. And the doormen at these buildings seem quite excited by the presence of so majestic a Hound as myself in their midst. One keeps asking if I can find his ex-wife, which I find puzzling as it was my understanding that the desire not to be found is generally a well developed characteristic amongst ex-husbands.

Of course at Elizabeth's all the building attendants are terrified of me as they have a persistent belief, despite Elizabeth's explanations to the contrary, that my gentle leader is really a muzzle. Now as much as I object to wearing the gentle leader when entering and exiting the building, it is almost worth it for the street cred and the respect with which I am viewed. Instead of "He's so cute!" it's all "Whoah, there's Wimsey. You don't want to mess with him dude!" And the fact that I like to hunt the neighbor's little doodle Teddy doesn't hurt any either.

But with respect to my leg, on Monday I was Pet Chauffeured down to New York Vet Specialists for an orthopedic consult where Elizabeth forked over $800 for a much admired picture of my perfectly pristine left rear knee and a diagnosis of "He did something to his rear left leg. Keep him off the stairs for a month." And so another entry has been added to the ever expanding Wimsey Book of Expensive, Inconvenient and Inconsequential Ailments.

Well for Elizabeth the idea of living with me for an entire month caused her to immediately hit the gin bottle and caused Maria to immediately hit the real estate ads (it turns out that Maria actually likes living with me--one of those enduring mysteries of human nature I expect. That or else someone dropped her on her head when she was a baby). So a giant shout out to Paul Rovinsky of Citi-Habitats, The Official Wimsey Real Estate Broker for his help in finding me a new place to live that does not involve stairs. I thank him, Maria thanks him and Elizabeth's liver thanks him. Anyway, the new place is only a couple of blocks away from Elizabeth and has a small, shared garden in which there is a cat whose acquaintance I am looking forward to making (it will make a change from hunting little Teddy).

So the ladies are all in a tizzy of getting the place ready--lots to repair and do, etc. to make the place comfortable for me and of course there is a special urgency on the part of Elizabeth who is apparently not a fan of being greeted every morning by my face in her face and eating her meals enveloped in the noxious emissions produced by mine.

And then there was and is the migration from a PC to a Mac which has not so far been all that successful. Some programs are not happy about running on a Mac and the migration software spewed documents and photos randomly in various locations. Hence, a short post today and perhaps for the next several weeks while real estate, both virtual and actual get sorted out.

But on the good news front, Baying Hound Aleworks (or Wimsey Beer as I like to think of it since my exquisite face is on the label) has received its first orders. As the business grows I will be updating you as to where you can obtain this excellent brew and even if you don't like beer it is worth buying it just to admire the label. Currently it will soon be found at the Royal Mile Pub in Silver Spring Maryland and at Roots Organic Market in Olney, Maryland.

Well that is all for now. I hope to be back in form over the next few weeks and telling tales and posting pics from my new crib. So be patient and watch this space.

Until next time,

Wimsey, the Trump of Hounds

Friday, October 8, 2010

Wimsey's Blog; Diary of a Manhattan Bloodhound

Hello Everyone--it's me Wimsey letting you know that this week there will no proper blog post. Owing to some fall friskiness I have pulled a rear hind leg and the vet has ordered strict couch and furniture rest. My human Maria with whom I live up 5 exciting flights of stairs (generally she's the one with the pulled limbs as I do tend to get enthusiastic on the 5 exciting flights down) has sent me over to her friend Elizabeth to recuperate. Elizabeth lives up 14 boring flights in an elevator building but there is always the compensatory possibility of sliming the elevator's interior and occupants. Elizabeth's neighbors think she hangs onto my flews because I might bite somebody (which enhances my macho reputation around the building), but the elevator attendants, who have had a first hand taste of the extensive drool that I hoard in my flews, know better.

Sadly, I am not a very good patient as in spite of having a gamy leg I still tow furiously in the opposite direction to the one in which Elizabeth wants to go and object strenuously to the vet mandated truncated nature of the proceedings--one hour is a short walk for me and anything that is even less than that is a heinous travesty to which I quite naturally object.

And I once again have induced sleep deprivation psychosis in Elizabeth via the traditional houndly routes of loud ear flapping in the middle of the night, regular bed checks and vigorous rearrangment of my bedding, all of which has been very satisfying (and excellent for the gin companies). But better yet, it turns out that Maria can't sleep either--apparently the unnatural silence unnerves her. It is the true essence of the Hound to take any situation and turn it to one's advantage by being maximally disruptive to the lives of one's humans.

Anyway, before I leave you for this evening's invalid loungings I do want to say that anyone who lives in the Washington D.C. area should make note of the following: (and check out their new like anyone you know?)

What's Brewing at Baying Hound Aleworks?

Baying Hound will be attending the Takoma Park Beer Festival.Join your friends and neighbors for Takoma Park’s unique “Nuclear Free Beerfest.” The Beerfest will feature the best beer from local microbreweries, great food from area restaurants, and fantastic local music. The Beerfest will take place on Saturday, October 16, 4–7 p.m. at the Historic Cady Lee Mansion at 7064 Eastern Ave, NW, D.C. [the corner of Piney Branch Road and Eastern Avenue] only two blocks from the Takoma Metro station. Tickets are $35 (of which $25 is a tax deductible contribution to the Foundation to support the Community Grants Program). Tickets can be purchased at the door or in advance at Now and Then (6927 Laurel Ave., Takoma Park) or at Olive Lounge (7006 Carroll Ave. Takoma Park).

Probably right about now my humans could use a case of Baying Hound IPA.

Until next week (hopefully)

Wimsey, even more annoying when injured!