Entry #303
May 3, 2013
Hello Everyone, Wimsey here, coming to you from the springy
borough of Manhattan where here on the Upper West Side it is finally starting
to feel like spring. This mostly means
that my human Maria and her friend Elizabeth are now complaining about the
difficulty of dressing for weather that is neither hot nor cold and an
assortment of odd Hound smelling garments have made their seasonal appearances from
the nether reaches of their closets. Those
oh-so- flattering fleece vests and hoodies are once again in the house and the hunt
has begun for t-shirts capable of standing up to the onslaught of drool and
dirt that walking me entails.
And of course spring brings spring fever, which is my excuse
for my missing blog post last week. I
just spent too much time lounging around outdoors to even think about writing
and a lot of my weekly diary consists of such things as:
Rolled in more grass
Rolled in short grass
Rolled in long grass
Napped in grass
Ate grass
Laid down in grass
Laid down in grass and refused to move
Laid down in grass and thought about chasing squirrel
Laid down in grass and decided not to chase squirrel
Laid down in grass and made humans scratch me
That’s my way of
saying that not a lot that is exciting has gone on around here unless you are
interested in grass. I did post on
Facebook though about how one of my vets is going to be on a reality TV show
(apparently on a major network, not something like the Vets Who Take Care of
Hounds Channel or anything like that) and the producers were looking for cute
(canine) patients who could briefly appear.
They wanted dogs that looked like this guy so my humans submitted my
pictures.
But hey, it’s acting---I can
play small and fluffy. I generally
behave like a small dog anyway (except when I need to shove someone off the
couch) so it’s not much of a stretch. But
sadly we haven’t heard from the producers.

The warm weather also brought back my intense desire to take
a dip in the lake in Central Park (and
my humans, who have an intense desire not to take a dip in the lake in Central
Park, had to brace themselves against an adjacent rock to prevent joining me).
I became quite the aquatic attraction and
people in boats were rowing up to say hi to me and to photograph me—the next
best thing to a swim up bar since adult beverages are technically prohibited in
Central Park. Of course, Giant Hounds taking
dips in the lake are also technically prohibited in Central Park. But my lake dipping may be curtailed by forces
other than the ticket toting park rangers—the snakehead fish has apparently
invaded Central Park! It’s got a
fearsome set of choppers (think piranha) and feet and can hang out on land. And being the brave beast that I am should I
encounter such a creature I would instantly drag my humans at a high rate of
speed in the opposite direction.
We did, however, have one rainy day which enabled Elizabeth
to test out the new yellow slicker that she bought me—my red one has always
been a bit small and Elizabeth has an irrational belief that somewhere out
there there is a raincoat large enough for me.
This one needed Velcro extenders around the girth but had an amount of
slippage that she found very unsatisfactory. I find coats very unsatisfactory
in general so I was quite pleased that she wasn’t pleased. Unfortunately I am told that a fancy Finnish
coat made by Hurtta is on its way, which pretty much guarantees that there will
be no rain for the rest of the year.
And of course spring also brings tourists in droves to New
York City and what could be more delightful than meeting me! Drool is its own
universal language. In fact I think that
I should design an app to compete with Google Translate
Hello my name is Maria (Hello
her name isn’t important, my name is Wimsey).
How do you do (Scratch
my belly)
Do you speak English? (I
pretend not to speak English either)
How much does this post card cost? (How much does this large piece of cheese cost?)
Where is the toilet? (Where
is the large tree?)
I would like some gelato (Give me some gelato)
Where is the nearest restaurant (Where is the nearest pile of horse manure)
I am looking for the museum (I am looking for a pile of garbage)
I would like a bottle of water (I would like a bottle without water)
What a lovely dress you have on (What a lovely pair of panties you have on)
I live in New York (I
live in Central Park)
Your city is very beautiful (I am very smelly)
Where there is a Hound can an international incident be far
behind?
And in other exciting news, Elizabeth went to the dentist
this week. This is always exciting
because Elizabeth is afraid of dentists and has to take a lot of Valium which
means that when she comes to pick me up in the afternoon it’s all:
Well I think I will leave it there for this week. But before I go here is a totally gratuitous
picture. It is of my friend Phineas the
Ibizan Hound. There is no picture of us
together because whereas posing one excited Hound is a challenge posing two excited
Hounds is miraculous.
Until next time,
Wimsey, Spoiled, Entitled or Fabulous?
1 comment:
Wimsey, you are all of the above - Spoiled, Entitled AND Fabulous!
And that's good!
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